This post explains what an "SL resident name" is.

My friend Kit Meredith brought up a problem in a recent blog entry: since many people blog, correspond, comment, and otherwise have public lives using the versions of us that exist in Second Life (which if you haven't heard of it is a virtual environment in which people build, socialize, exchange information, play, and spend leisure time), we often will sign messages with the names we use in Second Life. Those names correspond to a virtual version of ourselves, one that may or may not match our physical appearance, gender, age, species (!), or even personality. Many of us keep our legal identities private and don't publicly associate them with our Second Life identities.

I call the name my virtual self uses a "Second Life resident name," or "SL resident name," because individuals in Second Life are called "residents." Some people might use the term "avatar name," but since a single avatar can change its build, height, skin color, hair, clothing, or gender within a few seconds, this can be confusing: the word "avatar" can mean either a resident's virtual self in any form or a particular version of that virtual self. For instance, in Second Life I am sometimes white, sometimes black, sometimes Asian, and so on, and sometimes someone would call each of those an avatar, and sometimes they'd call all of them my avatar, singular. So the term "SL resident name" might be less confusing than "avatar name."

What Kit pointed out is that there may be confusion about the names we Second Life residents sometimes use in correspondence to people who are using their legal names. For instance, I might be interested in quoting someone on my blog and e-mail them to ask about it, signing the e-mail "Kate Amdahl." But since "Kate Amdahl" is my SL resident name and not my legal name, I might worry that the person reading the message would be misled into thinking that was my legal name. So in future, I'm going to have the following line after my signature in some kinds of messages, linking it to this entry:

Kate Amdahl is my Second Life resident name.

If you'd like to do the same thing, you could link to an explanation of your own, or you'd be welcome to link to this post, which as you can see, I've tried to set up to explain things to someone who doesn't know about Second Life.

And if you're a person who has questions about Second Life residents or identity, you're welcome to post them in the comments to this message, which will make their way to my e-mail account and usually be answered promptly.

Of course this post is continuing my vampiric little habit of turning my blog into an extended comments section for Kit's Blog, but Kit's posting regularly and I'm posting at whim, and further, I'm not doing any grand social experiments in Second Life at the moment (whereas I usually have been, in the past!), so it seems only appropriate that I should be stirred to thought by Kit's posts and surf, as it were, in her wake. :)

^^^\ Kate /^^^

All right, I know I'm always talking about Kit Meredith this and Kit Meredith that, and here are my amazing thoughts about this subject raised by Kit Meredith, but...well, I guess there's no but. I'm just always doing that. And today I'm doing it again.

Kit posted a really interesting and not just slightly miffed post about Linden Labs' new policy of never letting anyone mention them. (OK, that's not really the policy, but they want everyone to stop using "Second Life" and "Linden" and all in pretty much everything.)

That seems kind of silly to me, especially at this late date, and here's why: Second Life is a product, admittedly, and Linden Labs is a company, of course--but Second Life is also a phenomenon, like Disco or the Gulf War or dim sum. "Honey, let's go out for dim sum®!" doesn't work. They should revel in the wide usage of their names and only get testy if someone is trying to mislead people into thinking they have some kind of official affiliation with Second Life, shouldn't they? Wouldn't that be both kinder and better business sense?

Well, in the general spirit of peevedness, I've just discounted my "Slave of Second Life" shirt from L$120 to, well, free. Beware! Wearing it may infringe Linden Labs' rights! You have been warned!



As you can see, this unisex shirt follows a BDSM theme, with a Second Life logo hand, which I'm sure I'm not supposed to be reproducing in this way, holding onto a leash that connects to a studded collar on the wearer's neck. If you've ever noticed it's three in the morning, and you had to get up for work at 6:30, and you still refused to log off, you'll understand the sentiment behind making this shirt.

Versions of the shirt are included both with and without the small red logo on the back, which I think sums it up.



You can find my store, Kate Tease, which has color change accessories, women's tops with smart-mouthed slogans, and other unusual little things at Kumarajiva 23,109,87 .

^^^\ Kate /^^^

Last week my friend Kit started a discussion on her blog about why she didn't get hit on more often. An interesting exchange followed, all about what's in your profile, Second Life body language, Second Life gender and First Life gender, social skills, and all that.



Kit actually isn't actually interested in going out with anyone except her girlfriend Lanna (and I think they will both know what a compliment it is when I say I think they deserve each other), although it's nice sometimes to get the attention. But a lot of other people are! Unfortunately, it's sometimes difficult to meet people to date in Second Life, which is just crazy because there must be thousands of people in Second Life on any given evening looking for dates! But what do you do when you want to go flirt and dance or get intimate with someone? You could go to a sex sim, I guess, if you want to have oversized members thrust through your belly by newbies with system hair (and while new Resis are wonderful, system hair and cartoon genitalia are not, I'm afraid, wonderful). You could go to a dance club and hope you see someone who's 1) not already with someone, 2) interesting, 3) on the prowl, and 4) interested in your type of person. You could go to a hangout and talk--sometimes for hours before seeing someone who is ready to get hit on.



There is always the Diversionarium, but it's true that that's mainly a place for meeting other interesting people rather than finding dates, and anyway it's closed for the moment, due for a grand reopening sooner or later in its new home in Extropia.

Anyway, I'm just saying it's an imperfect system. So what (and I ask this because I'm me and can't not ask such questions) would a perfect system be like? I have some ideas, and I'm curious about yours. I am not not not going to start another big project in Second Life (as much as, I have to admit it, I would love to), but maybe I can find some people who are looking to make their club something special and don't mind me meddling. :)

Here are some things that I can think of that would make a really good singles club:

* Dancing, of course

* Maybe some kind of bouncer? What if the club were only for people who were willing to chat, none of the SEXS PLS people, who already have places to go?

* Traffic! This is the problem with any venue, but I think a singles venue that really did the job could build this up--but you might need hosts, DJs, regular events...or maybe (and this is a great idea someone came up with for the Div, and I wish I could remember who so I could give that person credit...maybe Argent?) some kind of communicator that lets people know when there are other people there looking for dates.

* Good music! But can that be defined?

* A laid back atmosphere.

* A little tool that people click on to register their status as available or not and who they're interested in meeting. Then you'd either get a little floaty symbol over your head, or else people would look you up in the object to see what you're interested in. You could say if you want just a date, or a date that ends up on animated poseballs somewhere. You could say whether you were interested in men, women, or both (or maybe even we'd have advanced gender choices). You could say whether you have rules about dating people who are in First Life relationships, or people whose First Life gender is different than their Second Life gender. You could say whether you're looking for a relationship, a fun date, or whatever comes along. Well, I'm probably making it sound more complicated than it really would be. Mainly I'm just thinking it would be very nice for people to be able to easily figure out who else is available, and what they might be available *for*.

Of course you could put all that in your profile, but (I don't know about you), I don't really want my profile to read like a personals ad. I do occasionally want to go out on a date, but I don't want my Second Life to be only about that.



Hmm, I'm running out of ideas, and that doesn't sound like me. ;) What about you? What can you think of that would make a place the perfect Second Life singles club?

^^^\ Kate /^^^

Things I thought of a little after posting this:

Of course there's no singles club that will be perfect for everyone. I have friends (you know who you are! :) ) whose dream date would be being made to wear something very embarrassing and then strapped down to (or as!) a piece of furniture for the evening.

Is the idea of a place specifically for singles a bad idea? I mean, if two of your regulars pair off, do you tell them not to come back unless they want to swing? Would people not want to come back after a couple of dates just to avoid that one person they dated that one time they didn't get along with? Or are these exactly the same problems as in First Life?

I've been mostly out of Second Life for two or three months now, and most of that time I've only come in-world to take care of things, for instance to drop off objects to people or to sell land (we were so thrilled when our friends Ferretherder Kitsune and Mailia Medby took over our former home! We don't need it to stay the same, a mausoleum to the Sylphs, but for it to still exist and be "in the family" just makes me sleep happier at night).

(By the way, I'm going to veer a little into fashion in this entry, but it's not important if you haven't fallen in love with your own wardrobe, so do skip paragraphs however you like!)

This past week, I've been in three times. I'd wondered if Second Life would start feeling a little silly and thin if I were away for a while, but that certainly hasn't happened, which strengthens my belief that people who think virtual worlds are games don't have any relationships to speak of in them, and that people who do have meaningful virtual relationships-friends especially!-aren't going to "grow out of them."

Kit had this little black dress ("Ginny" from Last Call), and I had to run out and get it, which is shameful in that it's stealing my friend's fashion sense, but really, I only have about 4 LBD's (Kit actually had to actually explain that abbreviation to me, but I think it's because I don't care much about First Life fashion and never watch TV!), and this one is (if you ask me) a minimalist masterpiece. It comes with a very nice trench coat that I'm sure I'll wear over the dress some day, but isn't the whole point of a Little Black Dress that it just sort of aesthetically vanishes and leads eyes to you? A trench coat does the opposite!

I have to admit, the timing for my coming back in-world a little more, even though I still only expect to be in once in a while, probably isn't random. My First Life significant other and I decided to part ways, amicably, and so all of a sudden my social time no longer necessarily had to involve putting on a nice dress and going out. Actually, my Second Life wardrobe mania was, I realized, in full swing, and practically the first thing I did when I came in world was further cram my already ridiculously huge virtual closet with a few coveted items from old favorite spots like Last Call and Nicky Ree. Last Call's clothing is gorgeous, by the way, and all on sale for L$100 again, which is a fashion miracle matched only by the similar thing that happened at Dazzle eighteen months ago, as the other old ladies on Second Life might recall. I have to admit, much of Last Call doesn't exactly fit my style (I've used the phrase "Republican debutante" to describe it), but I gleefully snatch up anything that does. Nicky Ree, on the other hand, is full of things that suit my eclectic little preferences marvelously, but buying things there costs something approaching actual money, so I have to pace myself. :)

This is "Divine Sisi Empire Gown Emerald" from Nicky Ree, "Sisi" I think being a reference to a Bavarian princess whose nickname that was. Anyway, wow. Most of my wings fight for attachments with this, but I conveniently have my mini golden eagle wings from Seraphina Pinion, which I like having another excuse to wear.

Anyway, it seems all too easy to fall into staying up late talking with friends and going on wild shopping sprees. Of course, both the friends (for the human contact with people I love) and the shopping (for feeling pretty and having tiny little new experiences) are probably compensations in part for walking away from what was really, in most ways, a very nice relationship. And in the end, I suppose that's not surprising at all: after all, if I had the option, I'd gladly spend time with my Second Life friends in the First Life world, with whatever First Life bodies and outfits they come in. I'm sure we'd all look less glamorous and wouldn't dance as well, but we'd be able to put our arms around each other instead of the air next to each other (Second Life: lurch left, lurch right, end up mostly facing each other...there!), and no one would freeze and vanish unexpectedly. Anyway, what I mean to say is that I'm incredibly grateful for my Second Life friends, and I miss them when I'm off in my First Life, and I'm glad to spend time with them any way I can.

^^^\ Kate /^^^

I've been waiting until I have time to post a full and detailed account of what's going on in my Second Life, but since that time seems to be slow in coming, I'll say what I can in short bursts!

So, we're now entering into "adventures in not being in Second Life." I actually hadn't planned to become mostly-absent from Second Life, but what happened was this: I've been in relationship limbo for quite some time, and then not too long ago, that situation ended. Sorry about the lack of juicy details, but my First Life needs its privacy. :) Soon after that, I got into a new committed relationship (well, not that you could call the old thing a committed relationship!), and based on my Rules, I immediately had to go end the romantic side of my Second Life. What this really means is that I had to break up with my girlfriend Eris, whom I'd been with for fifteen months--all of my Second Life, more or less!

It's not *quite* as painful as it sounds, although it was painful enough. We'd both known I wouldn't be out of the First Life love market forever, and that Second Life relationships aren't OK with me if there's a committed First Life relationship, so we knew it was coming. And yet, of course, it was awful.

And Eris, who has been with me all of her Second Life, too, decided that that was it for her, and she has essentially left Second Life (although we're still in touch outside it!). I *haven't* left Second Life, but with Eris gone and my attention in First Life, I barely go in-world at all any more. Which means that I have a lot of things to get rid of!

First there's our home, the Second Life Sylph Refuge, a large, double-prim plot in the named-oh-so-inappropriately-for-us Beverly Hill sim (on an Anshe Chung island), with a beach house down below and our private, custom-build sky house above. That's for sale, if anyone's interested in seeing it. IM me if you are!

Then there's our venue, the Diversionarium, which to my delight is being taken over by Extropia--meaning our longtime friend and popular former Div hostess Sophrosyne Stenvaag, and many other friends of ours.

And then there are our stores. My shop, Kate Tease, which sells fairy glow and women's tops with raunchy sayings on them and boxes of bats and things, is staying put, but Eris's, Strict Affections, which wasn't finished yet, is going away, and we'll probably sell some of our land in that sim unless someone would like to rent a store space under Kate Tease.

That's hardly a complete treatment of the matter, but I thought I'd better say *something* here. Sorry for the long silence, Dear Readers! :) More to come.

^^^\ Kate /^^^

I'm kind of surprised I haven't seen any Second Life personals. Maybe they exist and I just haven't stumbled on them? Here's what I think they might look like:



SWF (skunk/were-fox) looking for MBF (masculine bisexual furry) for romantic flies along the beach, long chats in the dance club, and hard-core BDSM. You should have good grammar and a scripted kiss attachment. No alts.

SWF who is a RLMWM seeks SF who is a RLF to discipline and instruct me on nights when I'm not taking care of the kids. Should be kind, sweet, understanding, cruel, domineering, heartless, sexy, and have a wardrobe full of black latex, leather, and spiky collars that in real life would leave scars. Must be willing never to tell my wife and to be true and loyal to me forever.

Young/old male/female merman/angel/robot/fashion model seeks same for making up previously impossible perversions. I like to collect unusual pose balls and glitchy hair, go freebie-shopping, and to hunt zombie dogs. My deal-breakers are liars and default skin.

SGM (single green male) builder with CAD and graphic design background seeks LSL scripter with particle and vehicle skills for making hair, earrings, scripted pets, weapons, and wild passionate love. Detail-minded resis only: if your seams don't match, you're not my type.

Young, slim, male avatar seeks sugar daddy to bankroll my sex change. Actually, I can do the sex change by myself, but I need help with the skin, hair, eyes, wardrobe, and shoes!

SF seeks SM for completely traditional relationship that I can become obsessed with. Sweep me off my feet, date me through a long, 3-day courtship, and then marry me in a church made out of Lego (must love Lego). We'll get a beautiful McMansion by the beach with a bathroom and kitchen we'll never use. Must love scripted pregnancies and child avs. Is there a man out there who can love me forever (or until we start to get to know each other and find out we mainly just like playing house)?

^^^\ Kate /^^^

After my gushing review of Jen Shikami's Flexi Flutter Wings, I was a little surprised to receive some unexpected wings for reviewing from some enterprising Second Life wing-makers. Maybe I shouldn't have been surprised: after all, who better to spread the word about your wings than someone who's crazy about them?

Anyway, there was one wing-maker whose work was unusual, surprising, and certainly worthy of mentioning to other wing lovers. The wingmaker is Seraphina Pinion, an enviable name for a winged person. Personally, I had no idea how much I'd love wings when I first joined Second Life, so I didn't have the presence of mind to pick an appropriately fluttery name. :)



Anyway, to the point! Seraphina's wings take quite a different approach than any other wings I've seen in Second Life, and so they have some unique and very nice features. Here's the difference in a nutshell: while almost all other non-particle wings I've seen in Second Life comprise two (or four) prims for the wings, often added to one invisible, central prim as an anchoring point for flapping, Seraphina's wings are like a detailed sculpture, with dozens of prims in each wing forming the separate feather. The result is a detailed, majestic, solid-looking wing that is not affected by the overlapping transparency bug (sometimes if there are two partly-transparent textures near each other, Second Life gets confused as to which one is in front, and most good wing designs have some transparency) and that has, to my artistically untrained eye has almost an Art Deco look. The style is a nice alternative to the sweetness of angelic, fairy, or bird wings on the one hand; and bat, scalpel, or demon wings on the other.



Of course, one of the costs of this look is the high prim count, but a set of Pinion wings isn't any more prims than, say, a complicated hairstyle. Still, it's not the ideal choice for laggy sims.



Like virtually all good wings, Pinion wings are scripted, and they have a graceful oval HUD with pictograms instead of words for the features. This means that the first time you use the HUD, you may have trouble figuring out what most of the buttons do. Fortunately Seraphina provides a labelled diagram that explains almost everything. After you're used to the HUD, the pictures are a nice alternative to text buttons.



Pinion wings have most of the same functions that other top-notch prim wings have, including invisible, appear when flying, flap (although Pinion wings can't be made to flap unless you're flying, which is very logical but prevents me from providing my friends with cool breezes on hot days). They also have a folded state, which is the way they usually appear when you're not flying. I was very impressed with that, first because it must have taken a bit of doing to get the prims to reconfigure in that way, but more to the point because it looks natural (and great), because it's more realistic than the usual choice of extended or invisible for anyone who's not currently flying, and because it's handy to be able to walk around in china shops without having to take my wings off. :)



The flapping motion of Pinion wings is nicely designed, except that the feathers on the bottom of the wing are flexi enough that they seem almost to wobble if seen from a certain angle and looked at closely by someone who has nothing better to do than to criticize how feathers move. But flexible prims can only do certain things, so I'm not sure this shouldn't just be chalked up to the limits of building things in Second Life.

Unfortunately the flapping sometimes gets out of sync, since the wings are moving independently, so a synchronization command would be nice (or maybe one is offered and I didn't find it). So far I haven't seen the wings get badly out of sync, though it has been enough to be clearly noticeable sometimes.

Seraphina sells just one design of wing, which is available in four colors (although I only saw three of them individually available at her shop): golden, silver, ruby, and a lavender-violet color I didn't see named. They come in small and large sizes. The ones in most of the pictures here are the small Golden Eagle Wings, but you can see a pair of the larger ones below. For each of those colors, though, there are commands to change to any of seven shades, from a very light version of the wing color to jet black. The wings are two-color, as you can see in the pictures, so you're just changing the colored part when you change the shade.



Most Second Life wings attach as a single object to the spine, but Seraphina's attach separately to the two shoulders. This can be a relief if you're a regular wing-wearer and have to cope with certain outfits that already use the spine attachment, but otherwise doesn't seem to make much difference, except that I imagine it was necessary for some of the wing animation Seraphina did.

Unfortunately, these are by far the most expensive wings I've yet seen, starting at L$795 a pair (compared to L$250 for a pair of Flexi Flutter wings, L$299 for a pair of Material Squirrel wings, or L$1 for a pair of Aurora particle wings). If you want both the large and the small wings of some particular color, you'll pay $1,260, or you can get one size of all four colors for $L2,000, or both sizes in all colors for $L3,176.

Despite the expense, I did go out and buy a pair myself for a wing-loving friend as a present, specifically because they're so well-crafted and unusual (and because I thought the appearance would appeal to my friend). So, expensive? Yes. Worth the price if you can afford it? Again, I'd say yes. But these are the kind of wings I'd settle for one variety of rather than pay for each different version, especially since there aren't different styles so much as just different color choices.

My wish list for a 2.0 version of Seraphina's wings would be
* offering a button on the HUD that will pop up that help diagram
* a sync command for the wings
* if anything can be done to make the feathers wobble less on flapping without losing their other nice movement qualities, that would be very nice
* an included landmark! although I haven't done this with my own products yet *Kate slaps her own wrist*
* more wing styles using the same building technique!

Seraphina also sells two complete AOs with animated flight poses (as well as walk poses, stands, sits, etc.) for L$225 each, one feminine and one athletic. My guess is that the walk, stand, etc. poses are probably freely available, and that the real product she's selling is the flight poses, which is actually all she claims to be selling in her kiosks. In other words, I think she's just being helpful and considerate in including the other poses. Oh, and those same AOs include hug and kiss tools.

Unfortunately, I'm not crazy about the flight poses: the motions and positions seem a little uncomfortable and less than graceful to me. On the other hand, I don't think I've ever seen moving flight poses at all before, so kudos to Seraphina for making them. I was fortunate enough to get both AOs in my reviewer pack, but for shoppers it might be helpful to have a stand where they can try out each of the poses to see what they think.

So it comes down to this: Pinion Wings are beautiful, unusual, detailed wings with some unique features. Their high pricetag is difficult to afford, but at least it's well-earned.

Pinion Feathers, SkyBeam Silver Sea 175, 84, 25

^^^\ Kate /^^^

I won't be the first (or the last) person to say that male avatars in Second Life have a much harder time getting gorgeous than female avatars. I thought of some reasons for this, which I'll mention in a moment, and maybe you know of some others, but here's the question I'm really interested in at the moment: how gorgeous can male avis get in Second Life, and who are some really gorgeous examples?



While you think about that, I'll name some of the reasons I know of that men get the short end of the stick in Second Life in terms of physical beauty.

* First, and most obvious, is that there are lot fewer things for male avis to buy for themselves. For instance, there are hundreds, maybe thousands of really pretty hairstyles for women in Second Life. I own about 150 good ones myself, and that's with me having almost all longer styles and almost all of them in a medium brown shade. Good men's styles? Very few. If you want to be very picky, you might say no more than a handful!

* First Life men seem to be a lot less likely to be interested in shopping to make themselves more visually attractive, and my sense is that a lot of the males who are interested in shopping and self-beautification in Second Life find it more fun to do that as Second Life women.

* This one may be mostly personal taste, but good women's hairstyles usually seem to need more body and sometimes length than men's, and I don't think Second Life is very good at hair that is short and doesn't have much body, which is what would look good on men. So many of the men's hairstyles either look a little girly or just don't look great, and it's hard to be really gorgeous without great hair.

* What generally seems to makes a man attractive may have to do with more things that are hard to simulate on Second Life. Of course, attractive personality and behavior look good on anybody, but when you're in a world where facial expressions and gestures and even posture are hard to influence, your visual attractiveness has more to do with your clothes and body and face than with how you stand or with the character of your gaze. The standards for beauty among women, generally (making a big sweeping statement about our society and not about your tastes in particular), have a lot to do with the kind of things you can see even if you stand her very still, stiffly, against a wall. Personally what I find attractive in a woman has more to do with how she smiles (and how much she smiles), and the tilt of her head, and the subtle ways she physically communicates, but even I find it much easier to admire a cute woman's body in a pretty dress than a strong man's body in what (in Second Life) passes for a nice suit or something.

* Second Life is much more competent to show avis who look like they're in their twenties than it is with avis who look like they're older, and so while we get completely ripped off in First Life by getting subtle clues that we're not as beautiful as we were when we were 22, men on the other hand can often stay on the top of their attractiveness game well into their fifties. Did I mention that this is horribly unfair? But women have a bit of an advantage in Second Life, where an older man just looks older, and usually not more in possession of himself or wiser or kinder or more magnetic.



So there are some reasons it's an uphill battle for men to be gorgeous. So who are the exceptions, and what are they doing, and where are they shopping? I'd like to invite everyone, whether you usually read this blog or not, to post comments with pictures of men you think look especially gorgeous. But please don't post pictures of your boyfriend, lover, or husband, or of yourself (unless you feel you can be completely unbiased!). And remember that this is not a question of which men *are* attractive, which takes into account speech and behavior and personality and achievements and all those wonderful things, but a much shallower question of which men *look* attractive. Please do post! Or if you know of someone you'd like to see included but don't have a picture, let me know and I'll try to get one. :)

PS - Thanks, Kit, for inspiring me to think about this from a comment in passing in your post about Rezbians!

Post-PS ... Thank you, Eris, for the new userpics!! :)

Today, not having time for one of the bigger posts I've been working on, I have just an ancient picture to share, from September of 2006. I don't have many snapshots from my very early days in Second Life, but I think this one came on my second or third day, soon after I had discovered Calla (note the hair) and Dazzle (note the dress, which these days looks a little dated-although still cute!), and before I had discovered boots with prim heels.



At that point in my Second Life, I still had little better to do than wander around and try to find interesting places, and this one was a faerie circle. I soon discovered that however many interesting builds there might be, what really makes Second Life interesting is the other people there.

^^^\ Kate /^^^

My friend Kit wrote about a video by machinima artist Robbie Dingo the other day, and her writing got me thinking about what our physical bodies are and what they mean to us. Here's Robbie's piece: it's called "Mask."



I really liked this, as I like all of Robbie's work that I've seen. He brings so much humanity to this sometimes too-technical world we live in. This one I particularly liked, though, because it made me think of the relationship of Second Life identities to First Life identities, of how First Life identities are like Second Life identities.

We all know the differences: we have less control over how we look in First Life, but the experience of actually being our First Life selves has a lot more for the senses than our virtual selves get to have. In First Life we have necessities, while in Second Life we have desires, and so on.

But there's a surprising similarity between our First Life and Second Life selves: neither of those bodies is our *self* in the complete meaning of the world. Have you ever lost a lot of weight, or gained a lot of weight, or grown a lot taller, or shaved all your hair off, or gone from gawky to graceful in one school year, or anything like that? Your outer self changes, sometimes slowly, sometimes quickly, and often really profoundly. We think of our First Life selves as being just one outer identity, but really if we compare ourselves as children to ourselves as adults to ourselves as elders, if we compare the days when we look our worst to the days when we are most powerfully attractive, we start seeing a kind of fluidity to our physical selves. And that's not to mention people who go through sort of optional transformations: sex changes, plastic surgery, becoming a bodybuilder, losing a lot of weight ... young/old, pretty/ugly, strong/weak, all of these things change. And of course our sense of ourselves and our personalities change as our body changes, but it doesn't necessarily change in the same ways our bodies are changing! Old people can feel young, people can become sexier even while their bodies might be becoming less sexy, a disabled person can become more powerful, or a person who's growing taller might become more meek or invisible.

But even though our bodies aren't in charge of who we are inside, they affect our personalities. And our avatars do the same thing, though maybe not as powerfully: what we choose to look like in our Second Lives changes who we are inside, through how we see ourselves, how other people see us and treat us, through our expectations, and through the ways we might act differently to fit our bodies.

So here's the crazy thing: in the same way that our avatars are fluid and more an expression of ourselves than the whole of ourselves, our First Life bodies also change and are also an expression of ourselves, but not the whole of us. I don't mean some kind of distinction between body and soul: I mean that who you are is not dependent on what you look and feel like on the outside. People see you as being a certain person, but in a way they're only seeing one of your masks, not a mask you use to hide yourself necessarily, but a costume your essential and true self wears to come out of the world of spirit and thought and be visible to all the world.

^^^\ Kate /^^^

Coming soon, if I get my act together: a conversation with Sophrosyne Stenvaag about the new positive future sim, Extropia...a review of Serafina Pinion's unique wing designs...and a follow-up on the first sex survey.