I've been mostly out of Second Life for two or three months now, and most of that time I've only come in-world to take care of things, for instance to drop off objects to people or to sell land (we were so thrilled when our friends Ferretherder Kitsune and Mailia Medby took over our former home! We don't need it to stay the same, a mausoleum to the Sylphs, but for it to still exist and be "in the family" just makes me sleep happier at night).

(By the way, I'm going to veer a little into fashion in this entry, but it's not important if you haven't fallen in love with your own wardrobe, so do skip paragraphs however you like!)

This past week, I've been in three times. I'd wondered if Second Life would start feeling a little silly and thin if I were away for a while, but that certainly hasn't happened, which strengthens my belief that people who think virtual worlds are games don't have any relationships to speak of in them, and that people who do have meaningful virtual relationships-friends especially!-aren't going to "grow out of them."

Kit had this little black dress ("Ginny" from Last Call), and I had to run out and get it, which is shameful in that it's stealing my friend's fashion sense, but really, I only have about 4 LBD's (Kit actually had to actually explain that abbreviation to me, but I think it's because I don't care much about First Life fashion and never watch TV!), and this one is (if you ask me) a minimalist masterpiece. It comes with a very nice trench coat that I'm sure I'll wear over the dress some day, but isn't the whole point of a Little Black Dress that it just sort of aesthetically vanishes and leads eyes to you? A trench coat does the opposite!

I have to admit, the timing for my coming back in-world a little more, even though I still only expect to be in once in a while, probably isn't random. My First Life significant other and I decided to part ways, amicably, and so all of a sudden my social time no longer necessarily had to involve putting on a nice dress and going out. Actually, my Second Life wardrobe mania was, I realized, in full swing, and practically the first thing I did when I came in world was further cram my already ridiculously huge virtual closet with a few coveted items from old favorite spots like Last Call and Nicky Ree. Last Call's clothing is gorgeous, by the way, and all on sale for L$100 again, which is a fashion miracle matched only by the similar thing that happened at Dazzle eighteen months ago, as the other old ladies on Second Life might recall. I have to admit, much of Last Call doesn't exactly fit my style (I've used the phrase "Republican debutante" to describe it), but I gleefully snatch up anything that does. Nicky Ree, on the other hand, is full of things that suit my eclectic little preferences marvelously, but buying things there costs something approaching actual money, so I have to pace myself. :)

This is "Divine Sisi Empire Gown Emerald" from Nicky Ree, "Sisi" I think being a reference to a Bavarian princess whose nickname that was. Anyway, wow. Most of my wings fight for attachments with this, but I conveniently have my mini golden eagle wings from Seraphina Pinion, which I like having another excuse to wear.

Anyway, it seems all too easy to fall into staying up late talking with friends and going on wild shopping sprees. Of course, both the friends (for the human contact with people I love) and the shopping (for feeling pretty and having tiny little new experiences) are probably compensations in part for walking away from what was really, in most ways, a very nice relationship. And in the end, I suppose that's not surprising at all: after all, if I had the option, I'd gladly spend time with my Second Life friends in the First Life world, with whatever First Life bodies and outfits they come in. I'm sure we'd all look less glamorous and wouldn't dance as well, but we'd be able to put our arms around each other instead of the air next to each other (Second Life: lurch left, lurch right, end up mostly facing each other...there!), and no one would freeze and vanish unexpectedly. Anyway, what I mean to say is that I'm incredibly grateful for my Second Life friends, and I miss them when I'm off in my First Life, and I'm glad to spend time with them any way I can.

^^^\ Kate /^^^

I've been waiting until I have time to post a full and detailed account of what's going on in my Second Life, but since that time seems to be slow in coming, I'll say what I can in short bursts!

So, we're now entering into "adventures in not being in Second Life." I actually hadn't planned to become mostly-absent from Second Life, but what happened was this: I've been in relationship limbo for quite some time, and then not too long ago, that situation ended. Sorry about the lack of juicy details, but my First Life needs its privacy. :) Soon after that, I got into a new committed relationship (well, not that you could call the old thing a committed relationship!), and based on my Rules, I immediately had to go end the romantic side of my Second Life. What this really means is that I had to break up with my girlfriend Eris, whom I'd been with for fifteen months--all of my Second Life, more or less!

It's not *quite* as painful as it sounds, although it was painful enough. We'd both known I wouldn't be out of the First Life love market forever, and that Second Life relationships aren't OK with me if there's a committed First Life relationship, so we knew it was coming. And yet, of course, it was awful.

And Eris, who has been with me all of her Second Life, too, decided that that was it for her, and she has essentially left Second Life (although we're still in touch outside it!). I *haven't* left Second Life, but with Eris gone and my attention in First Life, I barely go in-world at all any more. Which means that I have a lot of things to get rid of!

First there's our home, the Second Life Sylph Refuge, a large, double-prim plot in the named-oh-so-inappropriately-for-us Beverly Hill sim (on an Anshe Chung island), with a beach house down below and our private, custom-build sky house above. That's for sale, if anyone's interested in seeing it. IM me if you are!

Then there's our venue, the Diversionarium, which to my delight is being taken over by Extropia--meaning our longtime friend and popular former Div hostess Sophrosyne Stenvaag, and many other friends of ours.

And then there are our stores. My shop, Kate Tease, which sells fairy glow and women's tops with raunchy sayings on them and boxes of bats and things, is staying put, but Eris's, Strict Affections, which wasn't finished yet, is going away, and we'll probably sell some of our land in that sim unless someone would like to rent a store space under Kate Tease.

That's hardly a complete treatment of the matter, but I thought I'd better say *something* here. Sorry for the long silence, Dear Readers! :) More to come.

^^^\ Kate /^^^

I've been away from Second Life and this blog for most of the past week and a half, and I'm a little disturbed to tell you that it wasn't so bad being away. I missed Second Life itself a little, and I missed my friends more than a little, and I missed Andr3 and Eris quite a lot (they are, after all, my Second Life family), but it's been a happy time for me even so.

Part of this is just because I've been with people I love in my First Life the entire time, but I think the larger part of the comfort and satisfaction is because of my Second Life. Let me try to explain.

My friend Endymion sitting with me at the Second Life Sylph Refuge (our home). Isn't he beautiful?

I've said before that I think the needs that Second Life fills are whichever ones aren't getting met in our First Lives. In my case these have had a lot to do with spending a time on a regular basis with friends, something I don't often get to do in First Life because my friends are scattered around the country. Second Life also gives me the freedom to do disreputable things, which is a lot of fun for me.

What I'm finding is that the needs Second Life has been meeting are having noticeable effects on my First Life. I was already quite a confident and happy person in First Life when I started out, but I find that I've become both happier and more confident, diving headlong into troubles and coming out on the other side wiser but no sadder.

I don't mean to say I think that virtual reality automatically makes us better people...but I do think that when a person is getting everything she needs, she shouldn't be surprised to find herself feeling happy and empowered, which is where I seem to be at the moment.

I don't mean to tempt fate by saying these things. Happiness isn't a permanent way of being, and how empowered a person feels has something to do with what kinds of problems she's looking at. Still, there's something to being able to march out into the world with the love of people you respect and the sense that you're able to do most of the things you would ever care to do, even if the doing is happening only in a few human minds and in the whirring innards of a computer network somewhere in California.

Eris ice skating

If you celebrate any of the December holidays, I hope you've found them restful and fun, fun, fun. As for the New Year, I hope that you'll have someone in your Second Life who, like many of my Second Life friends and Eris and Andr3 especially, helps fill whatever parts of you that you may be looking to have filled.

^^^\ Kate /^^^

To my regular readers: sorry to have gone so long between posts without warning you all that I'd be away. I'll be sure to leave notes for you here in future!